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Getting Off: One Woman's Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction, by Erica Garza
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Review
PRAISE FOR GETTING OFF BY ERICA GARZA: “The memoir shines light on the lonely (albeit impressively multi-orgasmic) world of a woman who binges not on food or pills, but on hookups and 'getting off'…her prose is appealingly no-frills and accessible. She writes in the style of one who knows better than to linger too long on the eroticism of her memories—one who has learned the hard way how crucial it is to keep the dangerous rushes of euphoric recall in check…In reading Garza’s insight into her own experiences, we better understand ourselves…the strong final chapters, sublimely set in Southeast Asia, are both inspirational and, dare I say it, still pretty kinky.” —New York Times Book Review "Erica Garza has written a riveting, can't-look-away memoir of a life lived hard-core...In an era when predatory male sexual behavior has finally become a topic of urgent national discourse...Getting Off makes for a wild, timely read."—Elle Magazine "Garza frankly and unflinchingly chronicles these experiences...Garza’s memoir is the rare sex addiction narrative from a female perspective, and a profoundly genuine, gripping story that any reader can appreciate."—Vice “Accessible and intimate; her stories relatable for anyone who has ever felt 'less than,' who has attempted (unsuccessfully) to fill the loneliness of life…a heartbreaking and insightful read, a candid reminder that recovery is rarely a straightforward journey…But it's hopeful, too—Garza is unflinchingly honest and introspective about her obsessions and how she found a path out of them. This is a necessary book that adds an important voice to a much-needed conversation.”—Shondaland.com “Erica Garza’s Getting Off: One Woman’s Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction is like Belle de Jour if Séverine was a real woman writing in the 21st century and exploring her desires before she even had the chance to become a bored housewife...That Garza’s memoir ends with satisfying sex, sensuality, and self-acceptance is triumphant, but not because her prior sex life seems so licentious; there’s plenty she doesn’t do. Rather, the compelling part of Garza’s story is that recovery entails the acceptance of her libido and refusal of shame. In a world that still fears female sexuality and buys into the dichotomy of the Madonna-whore complex, Getting Off is doing crucial work...Garza is admirably bold, laying everything bare via her chosen genre...If we care about the sexual health of our young people, we might encourage them to read Getting Off." —Los Angeles Review of Books “For those of us whose understanding of sex addiction is relegated to a vague malady celebrities blame when they’re caught with the nanny, Garza offers a sobering antidote...This confessional memoir is peppered with statistics about porn use and sex addiction, and Garza’s pull-no punches style will twinge the sympathies of even the most prudish.” —Booklist “[A] bracing chronicle of erotic dependency...exquisitely visceral and written with genuine emotion...A provocative sojourn through the wilderness of sexual addiction.” —Kirkus Reviews “[An] unflinching debut…an honest voice to sufferers of sex addiction.” —Publishers Weekly "For those of us whose understanding of sex addiction is relegated to a vague malady celebrities blame when they’re caught with the nanny, Garza offers a sobering antidote...This confessional memoir is peppered with statistics about porn use and sex addiction, and Garza’s pull-no punches style will twinge the sympathies of even the most prudish."—Booklist "Often, sex addiction is associated with the poor behavior of predatory men. Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey claimed they were addicted to sex. In Getting Off, Erica Garza offers an important correction to that public narrative by telling her own story."—Bitch Media "Erica Garza’s first memoir tracks her lifelong struggle with sex addiction, from 'strings of failed relationships and serial hook-ups with strangers, inevitable blackouts to blunt the shame,' shedding light on a very real dependency that women are rarely empowered to speak about." —Glam.com “What makes the book tick is that Garza’s ability and talent as a storyteller. She’s a well-known essayist on this subject, and she is able to mine the depths of magic and mystery that makes sex what it is....Painfully open and vulnerable. This memoir succeeds as the best memoirs do.” —New York Journal of Books "Fascinating...Garza takes the reader through a very intimate journey of self-discovery and acceptance."—Roar “You might expect Erica Garza’s memoir to be overly salacious. But as you dig in…you’ll find it to be fiercely dynamic and courageous.” —HelloGiggles “Erica Garza’s Getting Off, is an unvarnished portrait of one the most difficult rooms to describe in the dark house of addiction; it is also a frank account of leaving. Garza does not make the escape look easy, nor does she give credit to one way out, but it is clear that the telling is an important part. For her. For all of us. As she describes so beautifully in these pages, it starts with pressing the bruise, locating the shame, and letting it go.” —Bill Clegg, bestselling author of Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man: A Memoir and Did You Ever Have a Family: A Novel “In simple, elegant prose and with courageous honesty, Erica Garza traces the journey every girl must make toward womanhood: validating her own perceptions, admitting her own vulnerabilities and faults, trying and stumbling, learning to love and forgive herself and others. Yet somehow, Garza has turned this universal story into a page-turner. I read it in one sitting; I think you will too.” —Robin Rinaldi, author of The Wild Oats Project “To speak about women’s sexual desire as a singular thing, disconnected from male desire, is a transgressive and novel act. Add the ways Erica Garza admits to using her own pleasure to avoid genuine connection, and you practically have a revolution between these covers. With grace, humility, and lyricism, Erica Garza captures a rarely understood experience, and begins a different, badly needed discussion about women, sex, and addiction.” —Kerry Cohen, author of Loose Girl, A Memoir of Promiscuity
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About the Author
Born in Los Angeles to Mexican parents, Erica Garza has spent most of her adult life traveling and living abroad. She currently lives in Los Angeles with her husband and daughter. Erica’s essays have appeared in Salon, Narratively, BUST, Marie Claire, Good Housekeeping, Refinery29, Bustle, Alternet, Vivala, HelloGiggles, the Los Angeles Review, and Australia’s Mamamia and The Motherish. She has appeared as a guest on BBC Radio 4, Thom Hartmann’s The Big Picture, and August McLaughlin’s Girl Boner Radio. In 2010, she earned her MFA in Creative Nonfiction at Columbia University. Her memoir on sex addiction, Getting Off, is her first book.
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Product details
Hardcover: 224 pages
Publisher: Simon & Schuster; 1st edition (January 9, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 150116337X
ISBN-13: 978-1501163371
Product Dimensions:
5.6 x 0.7 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
3.9 out of 5 stars
62 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#222,753 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I stumbled upon this book and was impressed by her interview with Megyn Kelly. It takes tremendous courage to expose sex and love addiction.But for me it was a bit too much of drama after drama and never ending story of suffering. At a certain point I felt like I had enough of the same old story over and over. And yes this part of addiction but I something fell flat and lacked a depth. But she is truly brave to take on this subject.
I commend the author for a well written memoir. Her writing was very in-depth and revealed that she did a lot of soul searching and self exploration to understand her affliction and the impact it was having on her life. However, as a non addict it was difficult to fully comprehend the association of her innermost feelings of unworthiness with porn addiction and a myriad of self destructive sexual encounters. To my ignorant mind those 2 are are not equatable.It was also very difficult for the reader to sympathize with the author, who made it very clear she is not looking for sympathy, pity or even empathy for that matter. Her self destructive part was difficult to read,since in her newfound clarity she decided to lay it all bare on the pages of her book without any evidence she had any inclination of insight into her issues. It seems a little unbelievable that you can go soo many years without either yourself or someone else trying to offer some clarity or direction in your life.She did minimize the role that her immediate family played in her addiction, which given the circumstances would have to be a purposeful omission. Unfortunately in her eventual soul searching, the responsibility of a 12 year old lies within the realm of the home and by extension, your parents.I did find the book a bit tiresome but I still think it is a very good read and gave it 4 stars. I would recommend it to anyone like myself, ignorant on the concept of sex addiction since it offers a brief introduction into this fairly well established concept.
Erica Garza is very impressive in that she has learned so much about herself without having had a committed mentor who had unwavering faith in her ability to find a healthy way to meet her needs. The book is about confusing sex with love, which mostly felt empty, and then being brave enough to stay with her emptiness and other feelings until she figured out that she needed to forgive and love herself in order to love others and create a more fulfilling life. Bravo!
Loved this book and feel a little less alone after reading it. Been searching for a book from a woman’s perspective on being a sex addict and it’s finally here. I devoured this book. Thank you Erica for the courage to tell your story you have helped me in ways you’ll never know.
I don’t usually take the time to write reviews like this, but this book was just so good. It was incredibly powerful and moving. It was so open and honest. Definitely, the best book I’ve read in a long time.
Best book I've read in a long, long time. Extremely well written, honest and at times heartbreaking. It was about much more than watching porn. Thank you Erica, you may have changed my life.
This was a gift for a friend who saw the author on tv so I have no idea if my friend enjoyed it or not......
An insightful and good read. The pacing was great and her journey was very interesting. A good book to learn more about sexual addiction and how the author became, identified, and now manages her recovery process. I recommend this book.
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